Fingersmith 5) : Final Choice

最後抉擇

愛妳愛到傷害妳
Maud內心的翻騰是這一段最大的戲劇動力．Maud最期望自由與愛情兩全，但Sue只能在榮譽(金錢)與愛情擇一．由於Sue的退卻，Maud只能擇自由而捨愛情．在原著，Maud卻有獨特的邏輯去合理化這個抉擇："And so you see it is love--not scorn, not malice; only love--that makes me harm her, in the end."(P.302)

為什麼把Sue關到瘋人院會是因為愛?這是Virago討論版上的頭號謎題．在這句話的前文，Maud推論，如果她退出Richard的計劃，Sue就會和Richard打道回府，留下Maud一個人守在Briar，沒有錢、沒有倫敦、沒有自由，最重要的，沒有Sue．這段話該怎麼解釋？

1)她在Briar不能沒有Sue ＝＞如果Sue留下，她可能願意留在Briar
2)Sue被關在瘋人院，不算是失去Sue；Sue回到倫敦，才算是失去 ＝＞瘋人院是禁閉空間，她可以回去看望Sue
3)Sue離開她，算是失去Sue；她離開Sue，就不算是失去 ＝＞近似Maud折磨Agnes的心態，見不得別人有自己想要，卻得不到的一切．

一開始我認為，如果那稱之為愛，也是Maud這一段期間還不成熟的自私之愛．越到後面，Maud早就知道Sue在計劃中的角色，在她可以痛恨Sue背叛的時刻，Maud對Sue的愛都超越了恨，我想就算Maud是被關進去，她的愛意不儘然會消褪．只是在這個段落中，她沈陷在Richard的計劃中，完全棄守就範，失去愛的行動力．

未婚妻的漫長等待
Sue推以天氣漸熱為由，迴避了夜夜同寢的尷尬．她儘可能迴避所有眼神和肢體的接觸，只因為她對拯救Maud完全無能為力．Maud經過Sue的打擊，完全槁木死灰，她像靈魂即將抽離的肉體，對周遭更為漠然："I think of the ghost I shall make: a neat, monotonous ghost, walking for ever on soft-soled feet, through a broken house, to the pattern of ancient carpets."(P.304)

Maud自此之後的行為都是跳躍式的記憶，很少活在當下 "I am more aware of her hands than of the objects she takes up; feel the stir of her breath, see the movement of her lip, but her words slip from my memory the moment she has said them."(P.304)很多事情只見於Sue的自述，不見於Maud的記憶中．

在私奔前夕，日常活動一切照舊，還是協助舅父整理目錄．她回來時簡直是忍到最後極限，頭痛欲裂．這時Sue做了一件歎為觀止的動作．她用手巾沾紅酒，按摩Maud的太陽穴舒緩頭痛．這就是Sue的邏輯，沒有辦法做實質有建設性的事，只是做些小惠的心理補償．

臨到出發前，Sue的瞻前顧後再度發作，她還在猶豫行李是否打包妥當，又再回去重新整理，結果行李意外扯破，只好趕快再縫過．就在這個時候，Maud突然不告而別，摸黑潛到舅父的房間，拿走他的剃刀．在電視版，則改成Sue是回房拿Maud的手套紀念時，Maud才離開．其實原著中，行李扯破是很好的catch，因為Maud接下來拿剃刀憤怒地割破大部份的藏書，如果能出現在電視，會是很好的平行剪輯．

• 原著中，行李在Lant Street再度被Jhon用刀割破，令Maud心驚．這種突然的意外行為，是文學和電影常用的手法．我記得以前看瑞典大導演柏格曼的＜處女之泉＞(*柏格曼電影介紹)，溫文的女孩拿出食物給幾位猥漢，本來是張力中的平靜，突然食物中跳出一隻蛤蟆，像暴力的catch，他們接著強暴了女孩...．

電視版，Maud割書的段落只是發怒，原著卻透露又愛又恨的詭異心理，連割書都要有合理的原因："I am almost afraid the book will shriek, and so discover me. But it does not shriek. Rather, it sighs, as if in longing for its own laceration; and when I hear that, my cuts becomes swifter and more true."(P.306)*這裡的書像極了哈利波特學校圖書館中淒厲的禁書．

• 之前曾說，舅父收集有價值的二手書，就像Mrs Suksby收養別人的棄嬰一樣．Maud在反抗時，會攻擊對方的弱點，例如她割破舅父心愛的藏書，導致他最後中風不治；她在Lant Street抱取一個嬰兒，脅以摔死以求去，但不幸碰到一位冷酷更甚的高手．

午夜狂奔
Sue在每一個逃脫的過程中都特別有神采，特別是她逃出瘋人院到達倫敦時，更是達到最高峰．她逃出Briar與逃出瘋人院的手法幾乎同出一轍，其實也呼應著二個不同的空間，對女性自由同樣的桍桎．

電視版的逃脫的過程有點單薄，但在原著有二段非常浪漫的神來之筆．有一段是Sue先預備牛油，順利開啟Briar的門閂，她得意地向Maud眨眼 "Then I gave her a wink. It was the satisfaction of the job."(P.159)，連一直疏離狀態的Maud都被煞到 "She catches my eye and winks, like a boy. My heart aches in my breast."(P.307)，可見這時候的Sue是多麼有吸引力．

另一段是快到河邊，抬頭仰望滿天星斗，成功逃脫帶來的興奮感，倆人竟拋開芥蒂牽起手來 "She was holding her cloak about her face, but when she saw me turn to her she reached and took my hand. She took it, not to be led by me, not to be comforted; only to hold it, because it was mine."(P.160)．如果牽手的時間可以再久一點，或許倆人會情不自禁擁吻...

不過小船出現 "The dark boat of my dreams. I watch it come, feel Sue's hand turn in mine; then step from her, take the rope he casts..."(P.307)，Maud可能怕被Richard看到，而放開Sue的手．Sue的反應很有趣"...but it was not me who stepped forward first, it was her."(P.160)，怎麼Maud搶著去接船纜？不過，在電視版，船纜丟上來時，Maud居然閃身沒有立刻接住．

那是一段安靜，走向地獄的行程："No-one speaks. No-one moves, save Richard as he rows. We glide, softly, in silence, into our dark and separate hells."(P.308)

失憶與記憶的婚禮
Maud對接下來的事幾乎完全恍惚，在婚禮上被迫脫去手套，戴上戒指，完全就範...相對於Maud有意無意地失去記憶，Sue則是巨細靡遺地描述，彷彿紀錄每一個微小的細節，就可以把時間留得再慢一點．Sue要求Gentleman給Maud一束捧花，剛開始他不置可否，終於Maud開口了："I should like a flower, Richard. I should like a flower. And Sue must have a flower, too."(P.164)

• 我突然想起同是英國出品的＜Crying Game 亂世浮生＞．神秘莫測的女(男)主角，決定「獻身」男主角前，在酒吧共飲特別的酒，只見鏡頭移到中年酒保的表情，他默默點首示意彷彿為他們證婚．不知Maud要倆人一齊捧花時，是否有偷渡共同成婚的意圖？

新婚之夜
Sue為Maud更衣準備時，Maud在地獄門前最後掙扎，突然想買通Sue"Never mind what he does. If I call out to you, say you'll come. I'll give you money for it."(P.168)．這不失為一著險棋，可惜發生得太晚，來不及讓事情發酵．Maud只好絕望地豁出去，發狂地對Sue強攻．

在電視版，Maud全身赤裸，二次要求Sue直視(原著，Sue從那一夜次日即不敢正視Maud)．Sue淚留滿面，接受Maud的第一個吻．後來Maud強抓Sue的手，先是放在自己的胸口，接著往下拉…. 電視版更甚原著，Maud還把Sue推向床鋪，吸吮Sue的手指，壓制在床上…(簡直就是強暴)．有人覺得電視版似嫌過火，但從Maud接下來二種不同的對白，可以理解電視版詮釋的方式．

在原著，Maud充滿著悔恨，寧願沒有加入這個計劃："You went, before. You said I dreamed you. I'm not dreaming now. I wish I were! God knows, God knows, I wish I were dreaming, and might wake up and be at Briar again!"(P.169)．電視版，Maud的舉動反而是對Sue的怯懦洩憤You did it before for the sake of tonight...We weren't dreaming, were we?

電視版此時還自行加入一段：明明白白顯示Gentleman知情偷窺．在原著，被Maud嚇壞的Sue則是聽到Gentleman的動靜："I heard him slow his step, then hesitate at the door. Perhaps he was wondering if he should knock, as he had used to knock at Briar."(P.170)

在原著，這一段提供不少Gentleman是同志的線索，例如在進房前，對Sue拿著Maud的內衣感到不自在"It was him that had taught me the handling of a petticoat but now, seeing me take out Maud's shimmies and stockings, he seemed almost afraid."(P.167)；

Gentleman進房後，先是故意嚇唬Maud "He raises his hand and grips the head-board above my pillow and shakes it, hard, until the legs of the bed lurch and grind aginst the floor." (P.309)，後來坦言"Haven't I already told you, you are safe? If you think I am any gladder than you, to be married--"(P.310)

• You are safe：在＜The Mexican 危險情人＞，同志殺手(James Gandolfini飾，影集黑道家族)在綁架Samantha(茱莉亞羅伯茲飾)時，同樣說過這一句，在這裡並列，有異曲同工之妙．

Richard用刀割出傷口，製造新婚之夜的證據，努力擠出血滴時還問Maud："Do you suppose that enugh?"(P.311)Maud才起疑他不是對Agnes下手，應該有經驗...Richard辯白說是用另一種方法，其實他是不近女色．

Gentleman不久坐在椅子上睡著，Maud在半夜開始在意一牆之外的Sue怎麼都不聞不問："I put back my head and gaze at the wall behind me. Beyond it lies Sue. If she turned in her bed, if she said my name, I think I would hear it. She might make any sound, any at all--I would catch it, I am certain I would. She makes no sound."(P.313)

Sue的不聞不問是一種逃避，逃避自己的無能為力:"I lay, in the darkness, in my cloak and my gown, my head between the pillow and the mattress; and all I heard, each time I woke in the night, was the creeping, creeping of little creatures through the straw beneath my cheek."(P.170)

倆人都受不了折磨，想要快速了結痛苦：

Sue:"Better, I thought drearily, to make it happen soon."(P.171)
Maud:"I do. I will do anything, now, to bring an end to our long wait."(P.314)

Sue開始對老闆娘講些女主人腦筋不太正常的影射．Maud則表演日漸消沈，萎靡不振．Sue以為她的萎靡不振是想藉此避開Richard的需索，她對Maud失身於Gentleman妒恨交加："I should have said he needed to do it to her only the once. I should have thought he might have been frightened he shuld get her with child. But there were other things I thought he might like her to do, now he had learned how smooth her hands were, how soft her bosom was, how warm and glib her mouth."(P.175)

Maud不吃不喝，簡檢的Sue便幫忙收拾菜尾．Maud唯一有元氣的娛樂就是幫Sue換上華服，其實這些都是Maud一定要執行的功課，只不過電視版加入Maud的依依不捨．Maud為Sue換上最好的衣服，還幫她別上心型別針，只見Maud的雙手猶豫在Sue起伏的胸口...接著聽到醫生的座車到來，Sue反射式撥開Maud的雙手，Maud不好意思地退後...

庸醫會診
醫生早被Gentleman洗腦，他們的會診不過是強化先入為主的印象．一開始，Maud聽到醫生的聲音，但聽不到Sue談話的內容："I hear their voices--low, monotonous--but not their words. Sue's voice I do not hear at all."(P.316)．

Sue不論說什麼都不過是醫生眼中的病徵．Sue最後表達了如何處置Maud的期望："'I wish you would keep her, sir, and watch her,' I said in a rush. 'I wish you would keep her some place where no-one could touch her, or hurt her--"(P.179)這一句話從Sue的口中說出，真是情何以堪．

接著醫生轉與Maud談話，Sue透過薄得像紙一樣的牆："But those walls were like paper: I heard them move about, caught the rumble of the doctor's questions; then, after a minute or so, came the thin rising and falling of her tears."(P.179)

電視版，Maud的哭泣純粹是配合Richard的演出，但在原著，卻是個意外之舉．因為Richard在描述Sue(Maud Rivers)發病的原因，除了附合醫生"the over-exposure of girls to literature"之女子大學無用論之外，竟順勢故意揭發二女性事 "You did nothing to invite or encourage the gross attentions my wife, in her madness, attempted to force on you--"(P.319)

Maud開始哭泣，並不是因為Sue已背叛她，而是她憶起與Sue溫存的一切："I think of Sue. I think of her, not as she must be now, in the room beyond the wall--satisfied to have betrayed me, glad to suppose herself about to return at last to her home, the dark thieves' den, in London. I think of her holding herself above me, her hair let down, You pearl..."(P.319)

• 同樣是薄得像紙一樣的牆，此處的牆再薄都是種障礙，但在華卓斯基兄弟( Wachowski)的＜Bound驚世狂花＞卻阻擋不了二位女主角堅定的同盟關係．

不忍分離
要啟程的那一天，倆人各自收藏紀念品：Sue偷藏Maud的手套至衣服的內裡；Maud則收藏著頂針．Maud看著Sue穿起她最華麗的衣服，美麗的容顏綻放:"She wears my gown of silk--blue silk, against which the white of her wrists and throat is turned to the colour of cream, and the browns of her hair and eyes are made rich. She has grown handsome."(P.321)但電視版詮釋完全不同，只見Maud沒好氣的幫Sue打理衣服，就立刻別過臉．

在原著，上馬車前的那一段路，Maud是極為不捨的緊握著Sue的手臂："...when I must give it up--give it up, for ever!--I think I hesitate"(P.321)然後Gentleman說了一句："No time for sentiment." Sue當時還以為是對她說．但電視版，三個人是各自行走上車，Sue走在中央，彷彿富貴逼人的公主新娘．

電視版把依依不捨集中到上車後，倆人坐在一起，互相緊握雙手．在原著，Maud是坐在Richard的旁邊，已經不能與Sue有肢體接觸．二個版本各有優點，原著是一路都在蘊釀不捨，到馬車上愕然而止，最後讓Maud作出最後一擊．電視版，則把前段的Maud壓抑到麻木不仁，到馬車上才緊握雙手，流露最後一絲隱藏不住的感情．我個人是較偏愛電視版抑揚頓挫的節奏．

在馬車停在病院，院方迎接的關鍵時刻，Gentleman對Maud安撫："Don't be afraid."一直在狀況外的Sue又以為是對她說，最後終於感覺到:"The Gentleman leaned and caught hold of my arm. I thought at first he meant to keep me in my seat; then I understood that he was trying to press me from it."(P.183)她就這樣地被推入莫名的困境中．

Maud原本呆坐如石，在Gentleman的逼迫下，她看著Sue，開口．真正讓Sue痛心疾首是Maud對她喊出："Oh! My own poor mistress"．Sue看到Maud的最後一眼，是她鐵石心腸的面容，此後Sue便懷著這份復仇毅力，竟也支撐她熬過病院的折磨，命運的諷刺，莫過於此．

憤怒的Sue，把最心愛的形容詞"Pearl"，來個180度大逆轉："Hard as a pearl, and the grit that lies inside it"(P.184)這回怎麼變成金玉其外，敗絮其中？有趣的是，這與Mau一路看Sue的相由心生，同樣是見山不是山的層層轉換．

Sue終於明白故事的真正的起承 "You thought her a pigeon. Pigeon, my arse, That bitch knew everything. She had been in on it from the start."(P.184)在原著的第一部到此結束，三分之二的故事才要開始．

原著的第二部由Maud的角度以現在式來述說：從Maud出生在瘋人院的記憶開始．電視版從馬車離開起倒敍．

在原著，"I gaze through the lozenge of glass at the road we have travelled--a winding red road, made cloudy by dust, like a thread of blood escaping from my heart."(P.323)車輪輾過的紅土路，就像心頭上一束血痕，也像撲克牌Two of Hearts上的鞋印痕－－Maud自己踩下的印痕－－不論接下來Maud是如何請讀者接受她的所作所為："I am telling you this so that you might appreciate the forces that work upon me, making me what I am."(P.200)但在這一刻，她幾乎不能原諒自己．